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How long did it take before rejection stopped feeling personal?
written by
Tessa Dewing
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE BEFORE REJECTION STOPPED FEELING PERSONAL?
By Tessa Dewing, Managing Director of Sandra Reynolds and host of The Business of Modelling podcast
For many people entering the modelling industry, rejection arrives long before your first job. Castings and self tapes come and go. You walk into a room with twenty other people who look extraordinary, or you send your self tape off and never hear anything back.
That is not failure. It is simply the nature of the industry and something every model has to learn to live with early on.
What many people outside modelling do not realise is just how common rejection is. Even the most successful models have heard “no” far more often than they have heard “yes”. Often, the decision has nothing to do with talent, professionalism, or potential. A client may already have a particular look in mind. They may want someone slightly taller, slightly older or slightly different in energy and that can be difficult to accept at the start of a career.
When you are new to modelling, every casting can feel like a job interview and every rejection can feel like a judgement on who you are. Over time, models must learn that it is never about them personally. In my podcast The Business of Modelling, agents and models I speak to talk about this constantly. Former international model Pirjo Hickman described the reality of castings when we spoke. “Don’t consider that you are going to get every job, because there are thousands of girls. A client can go through pictures in five seconds and say no, she’s not for me, and move on to the next one.”
It is a blunt but honest truth. Decisions can be made quickly and often come down to a very specific idea a client has in their head.
Even highly successful models have experienced moments where the judgement of castings felt overwhelming. Anna Shillinglaw, founder of Milk Model Management, described a casting experience from her own modelling career that pushed her to question whether she wanted to continue. “I remember leaving the casting thinking, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be judged.”
One of the biggest lessons modelling teaches is resilience. I often think about conversations I have had with agents and industry leaders over the years. One point that always comes up is that disappointment is part of the process. Resilience is built through experience. You must always arrive on time, prepared, and professional, even when you are unsure what the outcome will be. It happens when you understand that the career you are building is not defined by the jobs you don’t get, but by the jobs you do.
Some of the strongest models I have worked with developed this mindset early. They understood that modelling is a long game and how one campaign does not define you. One rejection does not end a career and the casting that did not work out is simply making room for the job that does.
In another episode of The Business of Modelling, fashion model Lily Johnson spoke openly about the reality. “Rejection in modelling is so normal… you probably only get like 10% of jobs, if that. That’s normal. It’s not personal to you whatsoever.”
Rejection can also be a form of direction; the industry is vast. Commercial modelling, fashion, advertising, e-commerce, television, lifestyle campaigns. A model may not be right for one space but could be exactly what another client is searching for.
Over time, patterns begin to emerge and the jobs that do come through reveal where you naturally belong. Once you realise that rejection is simply part of the rhythm of this industry, something changes. You stop seeing it as a barrier and begin to see it as background noise.
When that happens, you are free to focus on the thing that really matters. Doing the work that you are right for.
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written by Tessa Dewing
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